Adobe's Alien Invasion Continues Not on all Cylinders

Where is the Weak Link? Dammit!

Just to preface this, I am trying to stay positive as hell regarding Adobe and their Alien Tactics. But it is getting a bit old... rewind.... Just to preface this, I am trying to stay positive as hell regarding Adobe and their Alien Tactics. But it is getting a bit old... rewind...

That is how the average user feels when they try to contact Adobe's support, whether it be through online chat or via telephone. In a nutshell, Adobe's customer service/support is going awry and to put it bluntly, royally sucks.

I know. I know. I promoted the positive side of the Creative Cloud in the last video, but that did not cover the "what if something goes wrong with the installation or launching of app" issue.

To be honest, I had a couple of issues with Photoshop CC initially. Then with Premiere Pro. And yes. Both of those issues were resolved fairly quickly. But the pattern continues... Now it is with Dreamweaver.

Hey! I Really Mean No Harm

Yes, we are now running at about a 25% "oops, this Sh^t ain't workin' right". I am sure that this will all be resolved soon, but in the mean time, and for those that are impatient... well. Adobe's take is very laid back and we don't give a Sh^t at this point. They lack in any sense of customer service that makes any sense. It seems they had "How to say you're sorry class 101" for all their employees. But that phrase does not a problem solve.

It is so bad, that their peeps can't even do simple telephone transfers anymore. I was on hold for about 20 minutes after being told in the chat session that this problem was beyond them and that I needed to talk to the "real" tech support people. Come again? The "real"???? what???

So as a loyalist, I called. By the way a number that is nowhere to be found on Adobe's ginormous site. Was on hold as I said... then after going through the whole verification of me being a valid CC subscriber, and having stated my case, the fellow with a strong accent told me that he will have to put me through and connect me to technical support. What? I thought this was technical support!

So he politely asked if he could put me on hold while he connects me to the proper people. I agreed. Several minutes went by. He got back on the line and said "Okay, I am going to connect you now." Remember, this was about half an hour in now...

"Thank you for calling Adobe. Our office hours are from... blah blah blah... Please call back during these hours.'

End Game

At this point I am fantasizing about having the CEO of Adobe in my office, tied to a chair and making him experience the total crap his people are doing. Yes. It's a fantasy that I am sure many have had.

But this simple fact about lousy customer service is starting to nibble away at the giant. And it is unfortunate. You see, Adobe can not use the excuse of "growing pains" at this point. They are too old and experienced for this even happen. It shouldn't period! But the money people are on this simple issue already. And by money people I mean the investment community. You know. Those guys on Wall Street.

They are publishing some not so nice headlines:

It's Time to Go Sour on This Software Company

The Motley Fool Blog Network

Sell Adobe: Potential 25% Downside

Seeking Alpha

Adobe's Candy Coated Earnings Report

The Motley Fool Blog Network

and on a more positive note and perhaps a bit optimistic. Hey! 1 out of 4 ain't bad. Right?:

Adobe Systems: A Huge Upside in Creative Cloud

The Motley Fool Blog Network

As a side note. I am still very optimistic that all will work out eventually. I remember the same issues when CS 5 came about. Troublesome installations, apps crashing etc.. But man, they better get their act together quickly. It is frustrating to say the least.

Maybe this is why Adobe is Losing its Loyal User Base...

UPDATE (yes, it's Monday!)

(Reading this part only makes sense if you read the part starting at "Confusion" first)
So after calling Adobe 3 times and programming my number in for them to call me back via their auto-return-your-call-so-you-don't-have-to-sit-on-hold-for-eternity feature, I think their phone system went berserk. Either that, or it doesn't like my magic jack phone number. In any case, the fourth time I called I decided to just sit on hold after it said "Hold times are 36 to 48 minutes". Oh well, the music was nice. NOT.

Finally I got a sweet voice on the other end. Explained the situation and within less than 3 minutes not only was I correctly signed up, confirmed that I had "real licences" and on top of that even got a better deal than expected - $19.95/mo for 12 months, instead of the advertised $29.95.

I also brought up the issue of their lame-ass chat (this was after we were all done of course, didn't want to booger up my chances). I was absolutely surprised to hear that they have heard that so many times, but Adobe won't do a damn thing about it. Turns out (no big surprise here) that on weekends, we actually chat with Adobe peeps in India. Of course seeing their chat names was my first clue. However, considering they are working for Adobe and were able to immediately tell me that I had "Volume License Numbers" either makes them pure liars or quite simply lazy asses that don't want to help at all. In either case, Adobe should take note and read just how bad their "offshore" subs really are!

Tell me again why American companies should dump the whole sending work offshore thing?


Confusion?

You bet! In the prior post I wrote a little about how bad Adobe is at explaining the logistics of the so-called "Creative Cloud". They neglected to explain or point out a few things in turn causing the deterrence or even scaring off potential customers that may or may not have been Adobe loyalists. I actually had a pretty positive attitude towards the whole concept, having pretty much understood it, until today.

Today was a special deal. I was literally going to use that "special" upgrade pricing to the "Cloud" as I am, and have been a legit owner of the Adobe Production Suite since CS4 all the way to today's CS6.... or so I thought.

Hell, I paid for my upgrades every year to the tune of $600 plus bucks and have receipts, transactions and serial numbers to prove it! I need to point out that I usually don't waste a lot of time dissing companies or really ever want to. But the incident today really got under my skin and made me wonder just how many others out there are getting the same lame results. If the answer is a lot, then it's no wonder that Adobe will and perhaps already is suffering from the backlash.

Adobe Disorganized and Inconsistent on their Offerings and Licensing

So I proceed to their "Creative Cloud" signup page thinking this should be a no-brainer. I registered each and every Adobe product and upgrade, so my account should be loaded with information. And... well, the only item it showed was Production Premium CS5.5 along with its license. Which according to the terms and conditions of the CC upgrade for such users as me, should qualify instantly for that $29.95/mo for a year deal.

I click okay after entering my credentials and the next thing Adobe's CC sign up mechanism does is show that it is researching my account for qualified product. It came back with "You do not have any products that qualify for this offer". WHAT? And in turn gives me a 30 day free trial instead. HELL NO! I shall not download, install or do anything at this point as I don't want to bugger up my existing CS6 install.

Customer DIS-service and Caveat Emptor

I figured at that moment that I will need to call Adobe on Monday (tomorrow) because they are only available on weekdays, and find out what the hell is going on? And why is my CS6 not listed under my account? And.... and.... and..  But my thoughts got interrupted when a button suddenly appeared that asked if I wanted to "chat" with a customer service representative now? So I thought to my self... do I really need to be typing all this now? I was concerned that it would be some neophyte rep that has no real answers anyway.... aw, what the heck... and then all hell broke loose. Unfortunately I was correct about the whole customer service neophyte thing. Just what I expected - a scripted no good for nothing portal of uselessness and more importantly; totally unhelpful! Oh but they did give me the phone number page to call tomorrow.

The Transcript

I am attaching the transcript of this most useless conversation, and most likely an hour of my life that I will never get back, to make a point. It shows first hand how useless and scripted these so-called customer service reps really are that Adobe seems to pride itself on. But  what's even worse? Have a look as the conversation progresses, at how lame sale tactics come into play as well as offerings that are nowhere to be found regarding the "Creative Cloud" for single user licenses. My guess is you will most likely also see just how annoyed I start getting after receiving lame-ass and totally useless repetitive boiler-plate responses. From what I know and to the best of my knowledge, I have been purchasing single user licenses since Production Suite CS4. After all, why would I buy a volume license when there is only me to use this stuff? All I can say is; "Adobe! Listen up! This is your front end and it looks really ugly from this side!" 

So here's the complete transcript as it went down today: I have blocked out the serial numbers as they are valid, just not in Adobe's eyes.... 

General Info
Chat start time	Jun 9, 2013 5:22:40 PM EST
Chat end time	Jun 9, 2013 6:13:55 PM EST
Duration (actual chatting time)	00:51:14
Operator	Gangmei

Chat Transcript

info: All representatives are actively assisting other customers. There are 1 customer(s) in line ahead of you. Thank you for your patience. info: You are now chatting with Ramakant_Soni. Ramakant_Soni: Thank you for contacting Adobe, this is Ramakant. Please give me a moment while I look into the details provided by you. Ramakant_Soni: Could you please elaborate your issue? Andy: My license is: xxxx-xxxx-xxxx-xxxx-xxxx-xxxx  Andy: pro prem cs6 Andy: Production Premium CS6 - according to the terms of CC this shoudl qualify and it says it doesn't Andy: I shoudl be able to get the 29.95/mo deal for a year' Andy: Instead it set me up for the one month free.. bogus? Ramakant_Soni: Ok Andy: so now what? Ramakant_Soni: As I understand correctly, you want get discount for buying to Creative Cloud upgrade from your CS6 product, is that correct? Ramakant_Soni: *to get Andy: Yes... what part don't you understand????? Ramakant_Soni: Definitely I will assist you with this. Ramakant_Soni: May I please have your email address registered with Adobe? Andy: vader@vadervideo.com Ramakant_Soni: Thank you Andy: and for some reason my serial number won't take on my account. I purchased this through Toolfarm.com Ramakant_Soni: Ok Ramakant_Soni: One moment while I look up your customer record. Ramakant_Soni: As I can check in our record, it's a volume license product so I need to transfer this chat to our volume license department for the resolution. I request you to please be online while I am transferring this chat. Andy: No it's not... it is a single license from toolfarm.com - or is adobe and toolfarm a messed up situation? Ramakant_Soni: Are you talking about the same license (xxxx-xxxx-xxxx-xxxx-xxxx-xxxx, provide by you above)? Andy: yues Andy: yes Ramakant_Soni: I am sorry Andy, but this is not a retail license. It's a volume license. Andy: acTUALLY - LOOKS LIKE i GOT IT FROM aDOBE DIRECT AS IT WAS an upgrade from CS 5.5--- Andy: and I have a CS 5.5 registered online with adobe.. which also qualifies... this is total BS Ramakant_Soni: As I can check in our record, it's a volume license product so I need to transfer this chat to our volume license department for the resolution. Andy: here is my CS 5.5 xxxx-xxxx-xxxx-xxxx-xxxx-xxxx Andy: That's just bull Ramakant_Soni: Andy, I would like to inform you both serial number is for volume license. Ramakant_Soni: *numbers Ramakant_Soni: *are Andy: I spend a ton of money on adobe products and this is the service i get????? Andy: Why would I have a volume license when I am a single user?????? Andy: And this is why people are pissed off about the whole cloud thing.... Adobe can't even keep their serial numbers and licensing straight... I will blog about this on the boards of the stock exchange for sure! Ramakant_Soni: Andy, I am sorry for the inconvenience, but as I informed you these are volume volume licenses and for this issue I need to transfer this chat to our volume license team. Please let me transfer this chat for the resolution. Andy: Then get a damn manager on the phone with me now!!!!!! Andy: 520-xxx-xxxx (my number blocked from view) - I am going to raise holy hell on this issue! Andy: I spent multiple tranges of 600 bucks a year to keep upgraded and you are telling me this was all bogus.. I smell a llawsuit coming Ramakant_Soni: Andy, I am not denying for assistance. I just need to transfer this chat to our relevant team for your issue resolution. Andy: Get going then... I don't want to have people be passing the buck.. Andy: This better be the final person i speak with Ramakant_Soni: And I am sorry as we are from chat support so we can't contact you over the phone but you can contact to our voice support at Adobe Support and Customer Service 1800-833-6687 (Monday–Friday, 5am–7pm PST) Andy: get lost - I want this done now.. not tomorrow or this week.. Adobe seems to think we have all the time in the world to fix their screwups Ramakant_Soni: Ok Ramakant_Soni: Let me transfer this chat for the resolution now. Andy: I can't believe that this is happening... ADOBE ! Andy: I am losing faith really quickly here! Ramakant_Soni: Andy, could you please let me assist yourself? I have informed you that I just need to a transfer this chat quickly for the resolution. Andy: I'm waiting,,,,,,,,,,!!!! Ramakant_Soni: Thank you info: Please wait while I transfer the chat to the appropriate group. info: You are now chatting with Gangmei. Gangmei: Hello! Welcome to Adobe Customer Service. Gangmei: Hi Andy. Andy: yeah yeah... let me guess - I need to re-explain everything again? Andy: well? Gangmei: I understand that you are interested to purchase Adobe Creative Cloud for discounted price, am I correct ? Andy: Oh my god - is this the way it's gonna go down... I will explain one more time... I own valid licenses of Adopbe Prod SUite from Cs4 thru Cs6 - all I wanted to do is sign up for the CC under the dela at 29.95/mo ... but it seems the licensing is totally screwed up! Gangmei: Andy, the product serial number you have provided is for Volume Licensing Product. Please be informed the 29.99 plan is only for Retail version. Gangmei: Existing CS3 and above customers who have previously purchased any Creative Suite software through a volume licensing program are eligible to buy at the special price of $39.99 per user per month through Aug/2013. Andy: Okay what part don't you understand? I didn't buy a frickin volume licence - I am a single user and have only bought single user licenses and upgrades over the years!!!!!!! Andy: If what you say is true - then why does my adobe account show my cs 5.5 license?????? Andy: but it won't accept my cs6 Gangmei: The product serial number you have provided is for Volume Licensing Product, the 29.99 doesn't qualify for volume licensing customers. Andy: and why didn't your system pick up that license to start with!!!! Andy: this is bullshit! Andy: I am going to raise holy hell and blog about how screwed up Adobe really is when it comes to their licensing and tracking of customers!!!!!! Andy: I shall also get toolfarm involved and see if they wish to reconsider even dealing with Adobe anymore! Gangmei: Creative Cloud for teams is $69.99 per user per month (with an annual commitment). However, existing CS3 and above customers who have previously purchased any Creative Suite software through a volume licensing program are eligible to buy at the special price of $39.99 per user per month through Aug/2013. Andy: This is probably and exactly why the public is so pissed at adobe about the whole cloud thing. STOP THE BS MESSAGING.. I hear you, but that doesn't answer my quesiton of the how the hell I have a volume license as a single user??????? Gangmei: Could you please provide your Retail version serial number so that I can confirm and help you? Andy: cs 5.5 as per your site: Andy: xxxx-xxxx-xxxx-xxxx-xxxx-xxxx purchased May 12th, 2011 Andy: CS6 upgrade purchased last April (2012) xxxx-xxxx-xxxx-xxxx-xxxx-xxxx Andy: this was an upgrade through adobe.com, Andy: \!!!!!! Andy: Get it?????? Andy: CS 6 was purchased and downloaded on May 8th of 2012 Gangmei: Yes, please be informed, both the serial number you have provided is for Volume Licensing Product and it doesn't qualify for 29.99. You can either purchase Individual Adobe Creative Cloud which is priced 49.99 or purchase a Creative Cloud for teams introductory price of $39.99 for existing CS3 and above customers, whether you own suites or point products. Andy: and as said - I have owned since CS4 Gangmei: Please click here to view the information : Gangmei: http://www.adobe.com/store/en_us/popup/offer/ccm_complete_offer.html Andy: Boy are you not listening at all?????? what the hell is your problem and what part of I DONT OWN A VOLUME LICENSE don't you get????? Andy: How can I own a volume license as a single user - tell me that would you? Gangmei: Andy, I have checked with the serial number you have provided above and it has indicated as Volume Licensing Product which is business licensing product. Andy: SO you are basically telling me that you only know how to read a script - don't really have any method of figuring things out and ADOBE can not track their crap properly? Is that it? Andy: You can probably check till you're blue in the face.. so how does that help me??? Is Adobe really going down the tubes this severly???? Andy: Is there no reasonable person available that can think on their own and realize this may be a total screw up on the licensing side? Is Adobe that anti-customer service now? Andy: Is the only answer a regurgitated scripted answer that you copy and paste? Andy: Do Adobe reps not listen to details of information anymore - or basically just make it up in hopes that we simply give up and shove more money up Adobe's butt? Gangmei: If you still have doubt, you can contact your reseller and then confirm with them whether it is for Retail version or Volume licensing product. Gangmei: As an existing customer of Volume Licensing Product, you can purchase a Creative Cloud for teams introductory price of $39.99. Gangmei: I can transfer this chat to sales team if you are interested to purchase a Creative Cloud for teams introductory price of $39.99. Andy: This is the feeling I get... without a doubt.. you don't listen, you don't care and all you want to do is sell, sell sell even knowing you are trying to screww me!!!! Gangmei: May I transfer this chat to sales team ? Andy: Go away! I will file a complaint on Monday with corporate.. this is pure and utter bullshit! Gangmei: I am sorry, you felt that way. info: Your chat transcript will be sent to vader@vadervideo.com at the end of your chat. Gangmei: I want to assure you that Adobe does care for it's customers. Andy: Oh and by the way.. you better read the whole transcript... you will see how foolish your responses are - they will be posted on all social networks.. Andy: Really? You really expect me to believe that after your "canned" answers???? Andy: Nice try.. but when this hits the threads on the stock trading sites I think ADOBE will think again.. Gangmei: Andy, for more information, I would suggest you to contact our Sales Team so that you can get more information about the price for Adobe Creative Cloud. Andy: How useful.. my god. Gangmei: I will help you with a link to view phone number to contact our Sales Team via a phone. Gangmei: Please click here to view the phone number to contact our sales team : Gangmei: http://www.adobe.com/aboutadobe/contact.html Andy: Why - they won't listen either as they are only interested in sales...oh no... perhaps I shall email this transcript to the CEO Andy: Let's see how he looks at this Andy: See ya later.. As I have to wait until Monday in any case, I shall make it a day of nailing Adobe. Andy: Wish you the best... no go away. info: Your chat transcript will be sent to vader@vadervideo.com at the end of your chat.

Adobe! They call it the Creative Cloud - So What Now?

This week as many may have heard, Adobe announced its shift to what they call the new and groovy Creative Cloud.

Forget about the CS Suites altogether! They will soon be history as far as Adobe is concerned. The headlines have read along these lines just to name a few:

• Is Adobe a Buy? (Financial Reporting)

• Adobe Just Killed Your Ability To Pirate Photoshop (some Blog named RW for ReWrite)

• 5 Cool Features in Adobe Creative Cloud (PC Mag)

• And my version - What the hell? Why can't Adobe explain things more clearly and remove the confusion? (Unfortunately this is not a link to any answers either.)

The big question really is; has Adobe made a suicidal or a totally genius maneuver? That is the billion dollar question. And why can PC Mag only come up with 5 cool features? Simply because they might not really (as has been for a long time) understand the reality of this situation. Who knows. I haven't read PC Mag for years now or basically ever since their reviews and articles were always swayed towards the guy advertising on the same pages of the article. I digress. 

I suppose the humorous one is the pirating one. I never had to worry about that as I always paid for full licenses. In regards to the financial reports, well, that's another story altogether. 

Back to the license thing. I really don't care what moron wrote this or why they came up with such a title. The key thing is, if that is the number one concern, then you shouldn't even be in any business that involves creating cool stuff. If you infringe on copyright by pirating software, you should be bitch slapped at the very least! 

Why? You ask? You dare ask? If this is even a question, then get out now! Go do something else as a career. Something where the mundane will run your life. 

For all of us out here creating goodies, visual eye-candy and so much more, we should never question having to pay for the right to use some software. Actually I insist on it as I would expect the same in return when someone uses some of my created goodies. Whether it is a project from After Effects, a photo, or my favorite, stock footage, I am a firm believer that this needs to be paid for! In turn, I am a firm believer that I must also pay for the rights to software that allows me to create this stuff. 

Over the years I have had many offer me "free" or pirated software of a variety of applications. I always rejected such offers for several reasons:

1. I always would respond with; "I really don't want any trojans installed on my system. These f&&cking download places always have crap like that going on."
2. I really prefer to get support from a company and not feel guilty about it. 
3. I simply hate to feel guilty about STEALING something from someone I have never even met! Yes! The conscious is kicking me into being rightful and proper on this issue. 

Now, back to Adobe and their Creative Cloud. Will it be a successful or as successful as Adobe hopes it to be? Only time will tell. There are two sides to every story. And this one has strong proponents on both sides. 

But there is one major problem that Adobe has yet to solve. They simply can't or are lost in translation. They puffed up their now crappy site with CC this, CC that and so on... but nowhere (and don't even get me started on the pretty useless faqs...) do they in simple explanation talk about the technical functionality of the system. For example, why can't they in big bold letters state that you don't have to be online 24/7 to use the products? 

Or better yet, why not explain in plain English that the so-called "Cloud" is not really a cloud, and it doesn't produce rain. Adobe! Pay attention! You really screwed up in your messaging! You seem to forget that artists, designers and producers are not all super-tech savvy nor do they full comprehend that damn "cloud" thingy. 

Go back to basics Adobe.... pretend that no one understands the concept and start from there. Spoon feed if you have to, but damn it do something. I am losing my ass on the stock market because you can't market or speak human!

We have the financial community, the stock market if you will, that is reacting in real-time to the announcement. Hence, they seem to be bullish on the whole idea. The stock is tanking slowly over the last few days since the announcement. See for yourself:

Source: Yahoo Finance - The day of this post.

We have the bloggers, the Facebookers, the.... ah who cares? They all have opinions. 

But here is what I have found to be true:

• Anyone that has been using this concept (yes, it's been available for quite some time now) really loves it. 
• Anyone that has not been using this concept is either weary, unsure, or somehow delusional in regards to its capabilities. I was one of these until I chilled and watched the replay of the MAX keynote presentation. 
• I admit, I think Adobe is on to something. Something bigger than we could have expected. After all, I was expecting Adobe CS7, not Adobe CC.
• As far as the doubters on Wall Street, you know, the guys that want fast money by investing... well, most of these people haven't a clue about creativity nor do they have a creative bone in their body. They only know that they are in the market for a fast buck. And therein lies the problem. Hell, most of them don't even know what Adobe does. They just purchased the stock because it had a nice upward line/pattern:

Source Yahoo Finance - Look at it rise!

I would venture to guess that there are many shorting this stock today. Perhaps the competition, perhaps the "sheeple" day trader, perhaps the general non-creative investor. We'll see how it comes out next month when Adobe actually throws the switch. (June 17th I believe)

In any case - before judging this new delivery of software system, perhaps it would be wise to see and understand all the potential. I was quick to jump and be negative about it initially too. But in retrospect, as this will be the only option should I wish to continue using Adobe products, I am somewhat forced to like it. Actually, there are some really cool things coming down the pike, provided Adobe comes through with them. But re-read the bold and underlined type above... it is a somewhat forced process. I hate being forced, except when it come to ice cream. 

Oh! And by the way - I do think their Creative Cloud artwork is pretty cool:

The Creative Cloud Artwork - I am sure this is copyright protected by Adobe.  So respectfully I am not using it for self promotion, but purely in the journalistic sense. 

 

The Unhappy Road of 'Puter Upgrades

On one of my other blogs (Shut Up and Shoot - the eBook Blog) I wrote a little article about some of the pitfalls that can occur when one tries to be smart and upgrade their editing bay to gain some rendering and previewing speed increases. Of course this story has to do with specifically upgrading the GPU card in hopes of truly gaining some speed in rendering, previewing and to be more specific with the Adobe CS6 Production Suite.

Of course there is this guy named "Murphy" that comes to mind. Check it out... it might save you some time and most of all aggravation.